That ugly Pride

 I am a mum of 4 with a husband who is very forgiving of my issues including my need to be right over and over again, I figure he is just living true to the motto happy wife happy life. Ok all jokes aside this has actually been yet another lesson we have had to learn in our marriage   how it isn’t always about who is right and how we need to choose our battles .I remember a quote from President Monson “ never  let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved” . Sometimes I feel this to be true in marriage the problem being the argument or matter that is drawing you to the point of not letting your pride down to see the other side of the story or, to see or even acknowledge that maybe just maybe you are in the wrong in this battle.  I have spoken about this before on my blog of the years and years long battle I have had with my husband about where to live. He wants to live in America and I want to stay in Australia , there is good in both places. America is way more affordable but Sydney has its perks too. This argument became such a prideful battle that it almost drove us to separation. I remember one day being unable to come to an agreement or see to eye on this matter and I really thought my husband was going to go to America on his own without us or move out, I remember dropping to my knees and feeling like I couldn’t breath as if I was having a panic attack. It was  in that moment I realised it didn’t matter anymore if he was right and I was wrong or vice versa, what mattered is that we had let pride take over our marriage and that panic attack I had just had and the heartfelt prayer offered afterwards made me let it all go , as I asked the lord for forgiveness and to help me fix what was most important right now. Which was Not where to live, not who was right but the two people who still loved each other but, had been poisoned by pride in this marriage.   Pride makes you see things differently, my husband told me he was never going to leave and still to this day does not know why I had those thoughts. I believe now after reading President Bensons talk it was because :

Pride is a damning sin in the true sense of that word. It limits or stops progression. (See Alma 12:10–11Links to an external site..) The proud are not easily taught. (See 1 Ne. 15:3, 7–11Links to an external site..) They won’t change their minds to accept truths, because to do so implies they have been wrong”.

Pride or the contention it had brought with it has made me see things differently which also goes along with something else President Benson said in his talk “Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.

Pride had made me think the worst case scenario, pride had me in self pity. Pride puts the need to be right or to get your own way in place of compromise or forgiveness. Pride poisons relationships and it has ours to a degree, we are working on the antidote for it now which only logical thing would be Switzerland, if we live in Switzerland no one wins this battle to live closer to their family, so we choose Switzerland.  Haha , oh If only that were true , the truth is we are still here in Sydney for now and there are some words that just aren’t mentioned without feeling a pull at our heart strings or cause us to tense up as we never want to feel the same as we did back when we were in battle per say or when we had let pride takeover our marriage and home.

On a lighter note, my mum came over yesterday and was saying “oh me and your father had words last night“ (they have been married for 45 years now) and I said “that’s not good what was it about?  “  her reply makes me laugh and puts a lighter feel on pride in married life and the need to be right and also the blessing of forgiveness.  She said “you know what we just can’t remember what it was about or how it started “ I just laughed and shook my head and said “ well why fight about it let it go” she laughed to and realised how silly it was, but how the need to be right and for him to apologise first just wasn’t as necessary as she first felt. 

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