Keep the wolves away!

                                           

—Marrying and raising children can yield the most valuable religious experiences of their lives. Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called “incomprehensible joy.”

Elde Hafen Covenant Marriage Ensign Nov 1996

This is an amazing talk about marriage being based on a contract or a covenant , meaning do we look at marriage as a contract we can just tear up or walk away from at any time when it gets to hard or difficulties come our way . Or do we look at marriage as a covenant a promise that we will invest all we can to keeping and staying together. Elder Hafen quotes Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will.

Elder Hafen goes on to say every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves:

1, Adversity

2.The wolf of their own imperfections testing them

3. The excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes - that the bonds of kinship and marriage are not valuable ties that bind, but are, instead, sheer bondage. Ours is the age of the waning of belonging.

Which wolf will huff and puff and do all it can to blow your marriage down? At first I thought  it definitely is the adversary and his cunning ways. He is on our back door step just waiting for our marriages and the family to be destroyed. He laughs when we argue and finds joy when we feel we need time apart. The adversary is everywhere especially in the media that we now have at our fingertips. But I do not think it is the wolf most detrimental to our society.

 Is the adversary the more detrimental wolf in our society affecting marriages today? After writing this blog I am now not so sure. What about the wolf of our own imperfections? Well this is a huge wolf in marriage, Marriage like a work contract you want to do your best work , meaning you want to provide the best you can for each other and your children, you want to make life happy and your home a place of joy, you also want your children to do their best and be respectful to others.  Unfortunately it isn’t always going to work out that way trials come up, jobs disappear, kids are kids and test you to the limit, sometimes our health is put to the test with sick children or partners and this is when our imperfections creep up on us and bring us discouragement "i'm not good enough for this and I just want out its too overwhelming". Often when we are feeling like this we take it out on those around us, we see their imperfections and dwell on them, as we don’t have control over our own at the moment.  Sometimes we do it without even realising. This can and does destroy marriages as there is so much pain and self-confidence lost in the process .  Whereas being in a covenant marriage in these times of feeling imperfection is when we need to be each other’s biggest cheer leader building each other up, not tearing each other down and getting offended by every little thing they do. Marriage is kindness, patience, forgiveness, its also knowing when your partner wants to talk about or maybe just needs time to process. 
Investing into your marriage as an everlasting covenant in return can bring us eternal everlasting joy.




References :
Elde Hafen  Ensign Nov 1996
covenant marriage