The Good The Bliss and The Ugly

The amount of times I have heard in our family “you never listen to me I have already told you this” is If I had a dollar for every time I have these words in my family I would definetly be one rich lady . The words “you never listen to me” followed by “I told you this already “.  Most of the time my children are probably right they have told me , but they have told me at the same time I am getting for work , running errands, folding washing , looking for my youngest ones footy socks two minutes before his game or multi tasking in some and many other ways. Then there is even worse times when I have said yes to something I wasn’t really paying attention to without even realising and the next moment my oldest is headed out the door to a party or outing when I needed her to be home to babysit and this is something  I don’t even remember discussing. Then that’s when the “your so unfair and never listen to me rears its ugly head and it becomes the battle of the mum and dad again...

T he  most important ideas that stick out in my mind after all the readings this week is  how all infidelity in marriage it is not always a sexual thing . When you think about a spouse cheating or having an affair the first thing that comes to mind is just as the media and movies perceive that of secret meetings at Hotel rooms , working back late with secretaries, secret meetings of any kind that include sexual intimacy with someone who is not their spouse. However the readings shared a different light on this,  that infidelity is not always of a sexual nature , one of the quotes that stood out to me was from Ezra Taft Benson "A good question to ask ourselves is this : would my spouse be pleased to know if he or she knew I was doing this? would a wife be pleased to know that her husband lunches alone with his secretary? Would a husband be pleased if he saw his wife flirting and being coy with another man? My beloved brothers and sisters this is what paul men at when he ...

gridlocked Gottman said when talking about working on gridlocked marital issues “Understand that working on these issues will take time. You may find that when you first begin to recognize and acknowledge your dreams, the problems between you seem to worsen rather than improve . Be patient. Acknowledging and advocating for your dreams is not easy . The very nature of gridlock means that your dreams appear to be in opposition, so you’ve both become deeply entrenched in your positions and fear accepting each others influence and yielding”.   The gridlocked disagreements share four characteristics You’ve had the same argument again and again with no resolution Neither of you can address the issue with humor, empathy or affection The issue is becoming increasingly polarizing because it would mean selling out – giving up something important and core to your beliefs, values or sense of self. So of course it seems only logic to avoid gridlock in the first place and enjo...

Forgiveness is so vital in marriage . Everybody makes mistakes , when you live with someone every day their bound to offend you , annoy you , make you mad or vice versa you will do the same . Sometimes it happens on accident and unfortunely sometimes on purpose.  If you dwell on what happen it was cause more problems on your relationship and it will have a compounding affect where you will more then likely get mad at other things too . The friendship is threatened when holding bad feelings and having contention in the marriage . As the scriptures say contention is of the devil and as Christ says we are commanded to forgive everyone .   When there is a disturbance or conflict in the marriage and we choose to forgive there is much more harmony in the relationship and we can move forward with the spirit in our homes and lives . President monsons wise words “choose your love and love your choice “ we chose each other and part of loving one another is forgiving one another ....

 I am a mum of 4 with a husband who is very forgiving of my issues including my need to be right over and over again, I figure he is just living true to the motto happy wife happy life. Ok all jokes aside this has actually been yet another lesson we have had to learn in our marriage   how it isn’t always about who is right and how we need to choose our battles .I remember a quote from President Monson “ never  let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved” . Sometimes I feel this to be true in marriage the problem being the argument or matter that is drawing you to the point of not letting your pride down to see the other side of the story or, to see or even acknowledge that maybe just maybe you are in the wrong in this battle.  I have spoken about this before on my blog of the years and years long battle I have had with my husband about where to live. He wants to live in America and I want to stay in Australia , there is good...

What are the little ways in which you stay connected by turning toward your spouse, or someone close to you? What impact do these little actions have on your relationship? It is by doing the constant small things in marriage that make it great .  It may sound silly to some , but if my husband has paired socks and knows where to find his clean underwear then he is a happy man.  Happy not because I’m doing his chores but he is happy because he feels appreciated .  This may not work for everyone and everyone has different ways they feel appreciated and loved .  Also a snickers candy bar every other day helps too.                                             I think one of the ways I stay connected to my spouse is just by knowing him , continuing to get to know him every day . Life changes every day , different things at work happen , financial...